For the weekend, I decided to treat myself to that Chicago getaway since I was already in the neighborhood...well, the midwest neighborhood anyway. Didn't foresee that I would have to head back to STL this morning rather than NY. I came back because my mom took a turn for the worse, but I'll spare you the details on that. For you and for me, I am focusing on happier matters - I got to spend time with Robin and Michael, Dede and Scott and Jeff and Anne in Oak Park. At Anne's house, I briefly had a chance to look out their front window at what used to be the house of houses, our pink house. We lived there for 14 years and then moved to NY. It isn't pink anymore- which is a good thing because it needed a paint job and the new owners aren't the type that are into pink. It doesn't look like my house so much. I'm okay with that. Years ago, I walked through it after it was thoroughly made over into their house and the things that made my heart rattle were the unexpected sounds. The basement door still has a special squeak, the floor creaks in a certain spot, the noise of upstairs voices echoes in the same places.
I'm finally over it. It took a very long time, and wasted a lot of years resisting my new world. But what is mine is the memory of our life there. The blurry snapshots in my head of the girls as little children and then young women too. The friendships that made the neighborhood my favorite home have kept their places in my life, in my heart. That's enough. Really, it is.
Off to the hospital, to the reality of today....like I said before- it's an up and down scene here. Hoping for my mom's sake that it levels out smoothly soon. Dede taught me to crochet Saturday...maybe I'll make a ripple blanket. I've learned that the best way to bond with the nursing staff is through crafts! xoC