Welcome to the creative home of artist and maker Charlotte Lyons.

concern, despair, hope


Jake had a little cough this week. Never heard that before and watched it for a few days. Yesterday he was different, lethargic, disinterested, faraway eyes. I called the vet at 9 but couldn't get in until 4. All day I sat there and watched him, petted him and cried. Something seemed so wrong. It worried me so. Nothing was accomplished but that. Tried to get him out for a walk but he didn't really want to go unless I went and then he would follow me. Slowly. I started to think maybe he had an injury.

I went early for the appointment, chatted with all the other pet parents and took our silly, too-happy, frosted holiday doggie and bone cookies for Paul, the office manager. We waited some more. The vet looked at him and thought it might be a tumor on his spleen so ordered an x-ray to be safe. They were back there a long time. When the vet tech walked through the room and wouldn't look at me I got scared. More waiting. I went out and apologized to the other patients waiting too. I could hear his collar jingling and thought maybe they were doing something else. But when they all came out and wouldn't look at me, I was ready to hear bad news. They asked if I had ever taken him out west. The abdomen was fine but the x-ray revealed a shadowy part on the lung. They re-shot and were totally stunned to see what appears to be advanced lung cancer. He is almost 8, only 8. It took me awhile to take it in. Not sure what else they said. They must be used to that...they started all over when I came around. 95% sure it is cancer and when I asked about the question about the west, they said it could also be a fungal disease found in the western states, but not on the east coast. He has never been there. They got out a bunch of books and we talked about slim possibilities. Lung worm, fungus, tuberculosis. They recommended we try a test to see what else it could be or confirm this.

We went home in a heap of tears. I cried all night. I woke up crying. I am crying now. But he seems more himself this morning and is going for the test at 10. I have the littlest hope trying to grow into something big enough to hang onto and somehow make him okay. There will be more waiting. I don't know what else. Make a wish, say a prayer, please let him be all right.

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